How can a parent make differences in their children? I can understand each child being different and having their own unique personality but how can a mother choose one or two children over the other? Some children have stronger personalities than others but should the child with the calm, quiet temperment be shewed to the side for the others to take center stage? In this particular situation I am speaking of adult children. A mother should be able to have a relationship with all of her children without the other siblings dominating the entire relationship. How can a mother let this happen, can she not see that she is being manipulated, or does she choose not to see what is right before her eyes? How can a mother want bad things to happen to her child and their spouse or children? Is this selfishness or callowness?
To a degree the mother is responsible for the actions of her children and if they choose to manipulate their mother, then at least she should exhibit perspicacious judgement and figure out what is going on, instead of roaming this earth in utter blindness. Does a mother not see what pain she causes her children when she does not take a stand and see the entire situation for what it truly is, instead of being led around like a lost sheep into oblivion? Wake up woman, see where the truth lies instead of blaming an outsider for the quandary that has existed for many years!!
Children are a product of their parents, parents rear their children for many years before they send them out in to the world, or for some who lock their children out and send them wondering in a world of confusion and then judge them for the decisions they were forced to make. Playing the blame game never takes care of the issue at hand, issues have to be resolved and their has to be closure before people can move forward. After there is so much hurt, how is it these relationships can be repaired? Spiraling, spiraling, spiraling, now affecting the grandchildren in the family. Does one child or grandchild really take precedence over another? How do people decide that one is better than the other? As for me, I am a mother of one, but I have many family members, nieces, nephews, and now their children, great nieces and great nephews. I cannot chose one over the other, they are all precious and when a problem arises we handle it as diplomatic as we possibley can and we explain to the children what happened and what the consequences are or were for their actions. We DO NOT let the children treat each other unfavorably, we teach them to love and respect one another.
Relationships cannot be built when they are always being torn down in some form or fashion! For those of you who think the best way of handling a situation is to treat people horribly, well the only thing you are accomplishing is deeper and deeper hurt and then anger rears its ugly head. How can a mother who is the head of the family allow such an atrocity to continue? If you are unhappy with a situation it should be dealt with in a diplomatic manner, you do not take the word of others in these type of situations, you talk to each person or persons involved and get the whole story before you make your judgements on situations, you cannot come to a conclusion with half truths, it will never work.
As for the individuals who continue to get hurt by their family members, in the long run, they are better off not being in the presence of such people. There is hurt to endure and overcome but all in all it is far more less hurt than they would have endured being involved in such dysfunction on a regular basis. Chalk up the ignorance and move on because it is far less misery than you would have to contend with on a daily basis.
Mothers please do not place a divider between your children, after all they did not ask to be born, it was the choice of their parents. Love them as if they are still little children, are we to not to have the heart of a child to enter the Kingdom of Heaven?
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